Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
