Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
