with your own penis?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
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