turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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