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• (248): View more from Michigan

  3:26am: come over

  (847): View more from Illinois

  you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over

  (248): View more from Michigan

  4:11am: mnlodp

  (847): View more from Illinois

  dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me

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• (718): View more from New York

  Barsexuality is the new black.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Since when is my name a synonym for head?

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.

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• (714): View more from California

  But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have a black eye again and dont know why again

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.

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