How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
