I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
