And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
