Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
