i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
