And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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