That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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