I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
false alarm, still single
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
