yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
