maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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