Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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