it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
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She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
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Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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