We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
