I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
