Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize