I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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