He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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