Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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