I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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