but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
