Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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