Are we in a gay sports bar?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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