Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
