I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize