That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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