is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
