im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
