she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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