So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
