naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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