Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
