Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
