google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
