we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
