Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
