She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
