pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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