when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
