i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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