Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize