Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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