it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
