I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
