im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
These tits shall not be calmed
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
