Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
