she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
