Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
