hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Who died my cat blue again?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize