Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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