Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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