he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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