Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
