How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
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