i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
